自相矛盾（详读本）

楚chǔ国有guó yǒu一yī个gè卖mài兵bīng器qì的de人rén，在zài集jí市shì上shàng摆bǎi着zhuó摊子tān zi，卖mài矛máo和hé盾dùn。矛máo是shì用来yòng lái刺cì的de长zhǎng枪qiāng，盾dùn是shì用来yòng lái挡dǎng的de牌子pái zi。

In Chu a weapon-seller set up a stall in the market, selling spears for stabbing and shields for blocking.

为了wèi le招揽zhāo lǎn客人kè rén，他tā举jǔ起qǐ自己zì jǐ的de盾dùn，大声dà shēng说shuō：大家dà jiā快kuài来lái看kān，我wǒ的de盾dùn是shì世界shì jiè上shàng最zuì结实jiē shi的de，什么shén me东西dōng xi都dōu刺cì不bù穿chuān它tā！

To draw customers he lifted a shield and cried: look, my shields are the strongest in the world, nothing can pierce them!

周围zhōu wéi的de人rén听tīng了liǎo，都dōu围wéi过来guò lái看kān。他tā一yī看kān人rén多duō了liǎo，又yòu放下fàng xià盾dùn，拿ná起qǐ矛máo说shuō：我wǒ的de矛máo是shì世界shì jiè上shàng最zuì锋fēng利lì的de，什么shén me东西dōng xi都dōu能néng刺cì穿chuān！

A crowd gathered. Seeing it, he put down the shield, raised a spear, and said: my spears are the sharpest in the world, they pierce anything!

人群rén qún中zhōng有yǒu一yī个人gè rén听tīng了liǎo，笑xiào着zhuó问wèn他tā：你nǐ说shuō你nǐ的de盾dùn什么shén me都dōu刺cì不bù穿chuān，又yòu说shuō你nǐ的de矛máo什么shén me都dōu能néng刺cì穿chuān。

Someone in the crowd smiled and asked: you say your shield stops everything, and your spear pierces everything.

那么nà me，用yòng你nǐ的de矛máo去qù刺cì你nǐ的de盾dùn，会huì怎么样zěn me yàng呢ne？

So what happens when your spear strikes your shield?

卖mài兵bīng器qì的de人rén一yī听tīng，张zhāng着zhuó嘴zuǐ，半天bàn tiān说shuō不bù出chū一句话yī jù huà来lái。周围zhōu wéi的de人rén全都quán dōu笑xiào了liǎo。

The seller stood with his mouth open, unable to answer, while the whole crowd laughed.

刺cì不bù穿chuān的de盾dùn和hé什么shén me都dōu刺cì得děi穿chuān的de矛máo，是shì不bù可能kě néng同时tóng shí存在cún zài的de。

An unpierceable shield and an all-piercing spear cannot both exist.

那nà天tiān早上zǎo shang，他tā还huán特意tè yì把bǎ矛máo和hé盾dùn擦cā得děi锃zèng亮liàng，摆bǎi在zài摊子tān zi最zuì显眼xiǎn yǎn的de地方dì fāng，等děng着zhuó顾客gù kè上门shàng mén。

That morning he had polished his spears and shields till they shone, setting them at the front of the stall, waiting for customers.

最zuì开始kāi shǐ，真的zhēn de有人yǒu rén想xiǎng买mǎi他tā的de盾dùn。可kě听tīng了liǎo他tā的de大dà话huà，那nà人rén摇yáo摇头yáo tóu走zǒu了liǎo：吹牛chuī níu的de东西dōng xi，谁shéi敢gǎn买mǎi？

At first someone truly wanted his shield, but hearing the boast, the man shook his head and left: who buys from a braggart?

太阳tài yang快kuài下山xià shān了liǎo，一yī件jiàn兵bīng器qì也yě没méi卖mài出去chū qù。他tā收shōu起qǐ摊子tān zi，一路上yī lù shàng都dōu想xiǎng不bù明白míng bai：我wǒ说shuō错cuò什么shén me了liǎo吗ma？

By sunset he had sold nothing. Packing up, he puzzled all the way home: what did I say wrong?

后来hòu lái，人们rén men用yòng自相矛盾zì xiāng máo dùn这zhè个gè成语chéng yǔ，说shuō一yī个人gè rén说话shuō huà做事zuò shì前后qián hòu抵触dǐ chù，不bù能néng自zì圆yuán其qí说shuō。

Since then 'spear against shield' means contradicting yourself so that your story cannot hold together.