考研这一年

去年qù nián七qī月yuè，大学dà xué毕业bì yè的de王wáng婷tíng没有méi yǒu找zhǎo工作gōng zuò，而是ér shì决定jué dìng考kǎo研yán。她tā想xiǎng去qù的de学校xué xiào，全国quán guó只zhī招zhāo三sān十shí个人gè rén。

Last July, graduate Wang Ting skipped job hunting and decided to take the graduate school exam. The program she wants admits only thirty nationwide.

她tā在zài大学dà xué旁边páng biān租zū了liǎo一yī个gè小xiǎo房间fáng jiān，每měi天tiān早上zǎo shang六lìu点diǎn起床qǐ chuáng，晚上wǎn shang十shí一yī点diǎn睡觉shuì jiào，时间表shí jiān biǎo贴tiē在zài墙qiáng上shàng，一yī天tiān都dōu不bù敢gǎn放松fàng sōng。

She rented a small room by the campus, rising at six and sleeping at eleven, her schedule on the wall, never daring a day off.

自zì习xí室shì里lǐ全quán是shì和hé她tā一样yī yàng的de人rén。大家dà jiā见面jiàn miàn不bù说话shuō huà，只是zhǐ shì点diǎn点头diǎn tóu，然后rán hòu各自gè zì埋mái头tóu做zuò题tí。

The study room is full of people like her. They nod silently and bury themselves in exercises.

最zuì难nán熬áo的de是shì十shí一yī月yuè。天气tiān qì冷lěng了liǎo，知识zhī shi好像hǎo xiàng也yě冷lěng了liǎo，做zuò题tí错cuò得děi越来越yuè lái yuè多duō，她tā开始kāi shǐ怀疑huái yí自己zì jǐ能不能néng bù néng考kǎo上shàng。

November is the hardest. The weather turns cold and so does her confidence; she misses more and more questions and starts doubting.

有yǒu天tiān晚上wǎn shang，她tā给gěi妈mā妈mā打电话dǎ diàn huà，哭kū着zhuó说shuō想xiǎng放弃fàng qì。妈mā妈mā只zhī说shuō了liǎo一yī句jù：累lèi了liǎo就jìu回来huí lai，妈mā给gěi你nǐ包bāo饺子jiǎo zi。

One night she calls her mother crying that she wants to quit. Her mother only says: come home when tired; I'll make dumplings.

她tā忽然hū rán明白míng bai了liǎo，坚持jiān chí不下bù xià去qù的de时候shí hou，家里jiā lǐ总zǒng有人yǒu rén在zài等děng她tā。第dì二èr天tiān，她tā又yòu坐zuò在zài了liǎo自zì习xí室shì里lǐ。

She suddenly understands: when you cannot go on, someone at home is waiting. The next day she is back at her desk.

考试kǎo shì那nà两liǎng天tiān特别tè bié冷lěng。考kǎo完wán最后zuì hòu一yī门mén走zǒu出chū考场kǎo chǎng，她tā看kān着zhuó灰huī蒙méng蒙méng的de天tiān，心里xīn li反而fǎn ér很hěn平静píng jìng。

The exam days are bitter cold. Walking out of the last one, she looks at the gray sky feeling unexpectedly calm.

三sān月yuè出chū成绩chéng jì，她tā差chà了liǎo两liǎng分fēn，没有méi yǒu考kǎo上shàng。她tā哭kū了liǎo一yī场chǎng，然后rán hòu去qù找zhǎo了liǎo工作gōng zuò。

In March the scores come: two points short. She cries once, then goes job hunting.

朋友péng you问wèn她tā后悔hòu huǐ吗ma。她tā想xiǎng了liǎo想xiǎng说shuō：不bù后悔hòu huǐ。那nà一yī年nián我wǒ知道zhī dào了liǎo自己zì jǐ能néng有yǒu多duō努力nǔ lì，这zhè比bǐ什么shén me都dōu重要zhòng yào。

A friend asks if she regrets it. She thinks: no. That year showed me how hard I can work, worth more than anything.

出租chū zū屋wū里lǐ没有méi yǒu暖气nuǎn qì，她tā就jìu把bǎ热水rè shuǐ袋dài抱bào在zài怀里huái lǐ背bèi书shū。手指shǒu zhǐ冻dòng得děi发fā僵jiāng，写xiě字zì都dōu歪wāi歪wāi扭nǐu扭nǐu的de。

The rental had no heating; she hugged a hot-water bottle while memorizing, fingers too stiff to write straight.

同tóng屋wū的de姑娘gū niang考kǎo的de是shì会计kuài jì证zhèng，两liǎng个人gè rén各gè学xué各gè的de，晚上wǎn shang回来huí lai说不上shuō bu shàng三sān句jù话huà就jìu睡shuì了liǎo。

Her roommate studied for an accounting certificate; they kept to themselves, exchanging barely three sentences a night before sleep.

十shí二èr月yuè冲刺chōng cì的de时候shí hou，她tā每měi天tiān做zuò两liǎng套tào真zhēn题tí，错cuò题tí本běn写xiě满mǎn了liǎo三sān本běn。咖啡kā fēi一yī杯bēi接jiē一yī杯bēi，喝hē到dào心跳xīn tiào都dōu不bù稳wěn。

In December's final push she did two past papers a day and filled three error notebooks; coffee after coffee until her heart raced.

考试kǎo shì那nà天tiān的de考场kǎo chǎng在zài大学dà xué里lǐ，座位zuò wèi靠kào窗chuāng，外面wài miàn正zhèng下xià着zhuó小xiǎo雪xuě。她tā深shēn吸xī一口气yī kǒu qì，告诉gào su自己zì jǐ：就jìu当成dàng chéng平时píng shí练习liàn xí。

The exam hall was at the university, her seat by the window in light snow. She breathed deep: treat it like practice.

考kǎo完wán出来chū lái，她tā给gěi妈mā妈mā发fā消息xiāo xi：考kǎo完了wán le。妈mā妈mā回huí了liǎo三sān个gè字zì：辛苦xīn kǔ了liǎo。她tā站zhàn在zài雪xuě里lǐ看kān了liǎo很hěn久jǐu。

Walking out she texted her mother: done. Three words came back: you worked hard. She stood in the snow a long while.

现在xiàn zài她tā工作gōng zuò很hěn顺利shùn lì，不过bù guò自zì习xí室shì的de那些nà xiē日子rì zi，她tā一辈子yī bèi zi都dōu不bù会huì忘wàng。

Her work goes well now, but those study-room days she will never forget.